Protests...

He struggles with reading Thai and English. His parents don't read and neither does his fourth grade sister.

It is his turn to read with me, so I call his name. He pretends not to hear me, I call again. He shows me his unfinished paper and protests. I tell him, no problem, it is his turn to read....and he points to the other students in the classroom and gives their names as suggestions. I say no, please come here and he comes reluctantly. He won't look me in the eye. In Thai he tells me the book is hard, and that he can't read well. I look at him and tell him I think he is smart, I think he can do it. He just looks away ashamed, afraid, and overwhelmed.

Each word is a struggle, he looks at them and says "I no, I no" meaning I don't know, and I can't do it. We read the title of the book and then he stalls....pointing to the scratch on his knee he tells me how it happened. I say I'm sorry about that but I need him to read. He reads the title page, same words that were on the cover, but each word is just as much a struggle as the first time he read them. Then he looks up at me and points to a cut in the corner of his mouth. He tells me it hurts so much he can't open his mouth wide, he can't read. I tell him again, you can do. You need to try. The more you practice the better you get. This continues throughout our entire time together. One time we found an arrow and he spun it to decide who would read each page. It landed on him every time and he would say no, no, no, one more spin. As the weeks go by his protests get bigger and his procrastination longer. He sees that his friends are getting it, that they are moving on but he isn't. My heart hurts for him as we work through the book, I know how he feels...incapable, overwhelmed, embarrassed and frustrated.

And once again as I teach my students I see myself. I am this student struggling, protesting, overwhelmed and inadequate. I am Moses at the burning bush saying "Who am I that I should go?". I protest and I shut down convinced of my own inability. But He does not try to convince me that I can do it or tell me to keep trying. Instead He says "But I will Go With you"...and "I AM WHO I AM". And I realize that I need to stop looking at myself and my own inability and look at the words in the Book, to read and believe the Truth of Who He is, how He sees me, and how He works.

In case I sounded too well adjusted yesterday....

Here is a snapshot from today....

Today I went for a run through some neighborhoods and fields near my house. I was enjoying the exercise and view. Of course when I'm running I often think "why does everyone feel the need to gauk...I live here." You see, alot of times I think that I fit in, because I live here, I know my way around, after all, I'm not carrying a map or binoculars. In fact, my housemates and I will often gawk at outsiders and ask each other "what are they doing here?" ...And the realize that all the Thai people around us are asking the same thing. Point being...I sort of stand out when I go for a run...and today...I definately made a scene...

Now...when I am running in Thailand I'm on the look out for two things:

Roosters...I'm not really sure where it came from...but I'm afraid of roosters attacking me....I always slow down and switch sides of the road when I see one. Today I was thinking the new why did the chicken cross the road joke should be "why did the farang cross the road" "to stay away from the rooster".

And Dogs....Now, my fear of dogs, is a bit more rational as one of my housemates has now been bit by 4 Thai dogs. (She is the only one of us who didnt get the rabies shot....such irony.)

Anyway...I had sucessfully avoided all roosters. But I see this dog blocking the road home. So I pick up a rock...usually this motion scares the dogs away...but it proved ineffective. I now have my hand poised to throw the rock at the dog...but its not helping. By God's providence a car drives slowly by...looking at me like I'm a bit crazy...They pass by and the dog charges...I start screaming, throw the rock, the car stops backs up and becomes a barrier between me and the dog...Oh so thankful for that car!!

I head home but decide to go through a couple side streets in my neighborhood. I encounter another dog, so I take a quick turn after a couple shrieks escape....Im on edge....but as I head down this road there are two dogs...now all the neighbors are staring because there is a shrieky foriegner scared of the dogs. One neighbor brings her dog in, another goes and shoes the dog who had started to follow me. Now there is only a dog about the size of Popsie...But I'm still terrorized by my previous experience, so I start screaming a little bit again. The neighbors sucessfully divert the dog for me. It starts following again...I shriek again...they save me again. I'm so thankful for the car...and the neighbors...

I am the foriegner who is terrorized by small dogs and roosters....

So much for trying to fit in....
: )

A Day in the Life of me...

Both of my sisters have asked me to write a blog about what a day looks like here. So here it goes....This was my day, not particularly interesting, but it will give you an idea of what my life is like. (Sorry it turned out to be kind of long!)

Woke up this morning around six. It was cooooollllldddd, for Thailand. Probably mid-60s. I have my blanket wrapped around me as I go down to make coffee. Priorities people, its always coffee first. Start having my devotions on the floor downstairs while eating breakfast. Then get ready for school. Me and three of the girls in my house pile into the car and we are off to school about 7:45. It takes me at least two trips to the car to be prepared for all of today's activities.

Each morning we gather around the table and sing in Thai and English and spend time in prayer for the day. I love this time in the morning, hearing the words of both languages mix together. We pray "Thai style", everyone simultaneous talking to God. Isn't it incredible He hears us all at once...in our own languages. After about a half an hour of singing and praying we begin our "work day" about 8:30.

On Tuesdays, Emily and I usually drop off two teachers at one government school to teach and then head to our school. But we teach about an hour later at a different school, so we park in a field between the two schools and do some reading. We turn on some quiet music, and pull out our journals, Bibles, and apples. We love this extra time to read in the morning, and the field is just so nice and peaceful.

[Well, usually the field is really peaceful, although one morning....we heard this terrible yelping... and see....a dog hanging from the fence...

We ask each other why the dog would be doing this, see him quit trying and resume reading....About 15 minutes later...I look up and see the same dog run at the fence and once again...he gets stuck. "What a stupid dog!" we remark....Then we start talking about how we sometimes feel like this dog...constantly attempting something, making headway...but just not quiet fitting through. Anyway this morning...I am NOT making this up...we are in the field and we look up, and the dog is once again hanging from the fence we watch him hang and struggle but then he actually made it through! We are hoping this is some kind of prophecy....I'll keep you posted : ) ] (Ok sorry that was a long side note)

Anyway back to the day. We head to the government school to begin teaching. I start in the third grade classroom. When I enter I am greeted with "Good Morning TeaCHER", I reply "Good morning class, How are you today?" "I am fine thank yoOU and YOU?" (The capital letters and bolding is meant to express the volume and pitch increase in their greeting. Say to how are you to any Thai student and they will all respond the exact same tone...Remember...Thai is tonal!)

Third grade is a bit challenging as the students classroom teacher previously taught them English, and she struggles to communicate anything to me in English. Have you ever had that experience where you are talking to someone but it feels like you are talking to yourself? Yes....Well when you are working with students who have never had an native English speaker teach them English...you feel it a lot. You ask a question....silence...rephrase, more hand motions...still silence. But today was a good day. With lots of pictures, I was really able to get some interaction going, and I had fun with the students.

Next, I enter fourth grade...same greeting, same tone. : ) Fourth grade has been a lot of fun to teach. The students have a little bit better of a grasp on English, and their classroom teacher is able to translate directions so that I can create a bit more challenging activities. The students are great. One girl, Weeyada, will run up to me eager to practice her English and begin to ask a question, but halfway through the question she forgets a word, and runs back to her seat to look for it in the dictionary. One day she said to me "Teacher do you mention?" Hmm what? "Do you mention"...still not getting it "do you mansion?" I still don't know if she was using part of a phrase about mentioning or if she was asking me if I have a mansion. I like when I'm saying something and they are all just looking at me and this girl says "onemoretime" so fast its hard to catch. It is challenging and entertaining to find ways to communicate with them, helping them to understand me and I them.

Somewhere in the middle of those two classes the principal came in and ask me to talk on Skype at 12 with some Australians. So I after teaching, I met up with Emily and went to the principal who had an Australian couple on Skype that use to volunteer at the school. We talk with these Australians for about a half an hour, kind of smiling to ourselves at just the randomness of this phone call. Then we head to lunch with the principal. The teacher we usually eat with had already left lunch so my roommate and I just talked with the principal at lunch. The principal wants to learn English so he often repeats phrases and we aren't sure if he is asking us the question or how to say it, and he tries to figure out the correct grammar. The principal is really friendly even inviting us to his house.

At about 1:30 we head back to the school. At school we change into our work clothes. Then we go ask what we are supposed to do next. We are supposed to paint so we go and turn our clothes inside out. We got assigned to paint the wall/fence in front of our school. It is now about 90 degrees and the wall is in dead sunlight. Now, I forgot to bring work shoes to school, and the cement in front of the wall is hot enough to fry an egg on. My roommate Emily generously shares one flipflop with me. So we each stand on one foot and begin painting the wall. We are quite the sight to be seen in Thailand...first of all foreigners doing physical labor....pretty much unheard of....then add to it our clothes are inside out, we are standing on one foot, and we are in the sun, which Thai people avoid like the plague. Cars drive by beeping. About an hour later, the lady across the street comes over to us with straw hats, we thanked her profusely. Then we put them on...adding to the whole ensemble. Here is a picture of us.....

At about 4 we head home and have an after school snack, incredible clementines and guava. OOo Plus two cards in the mail for me!!! (Thank you Kristie Febo and Eleanor Lorentz) And then Sarah made muffins too....umm sooo good. After relaxing a bit, my Thai lesson starts at 5. Jaew comes to my house twice a week and tutors me one on one. I really enjoy lessons with her.

After lesson, we start dinner. Although tonight, Brittany made pizza. The best pizza I have had in Thailand for all of us. Usually all of us are bumping around the kitchen working together to prepare food. But this was a special treat. We sat down for dinner at about 8 o'clock. Enjoyed good food, conversation, and laughter. After dinner, we worked together to clean up. I hung laundry out to dry, and then settled down to write this....and now its off to bed.