Protests...

He struggles with reading Thai and English. His parents don't read and neither does his fourth grade sister.

It is his turn to read with me, so I call his name. He pretends not to hear me, I call again. He shows me his unfinished paper and protests. I tell him, no problem, it is his turn to read....and he points to the other students in the classroom and gives their names as suggestions. I say no, please come here and he comes reluctantly. He won't look me in the eye. In Thai he tells me the book is hard, and that he can't read well. I look at him and tell him I think he is smart, I think he can do it. He just looks away ashamed, afraid, and overwhelmed.

Each word is a struggle, he looks at them and says "I no, I no" meaning I don't know, and I can't do it. We read the title of the book and then he stalls....pointing to the scratch on his knee he tells me how it happened. I say I'm sorry about that but I need him to read. He reads the title page, same words that were on the cover, but each word is just as much a struggle as the first time he read them. Then he looks up at me and points to a cut in the corner of his mouth. He tells me it hurts so much he can't open his mouth wide, he can't read. I tell him again, you can do. You need to try. The more you practice the better you get. This continues throughout our entire time together. One time we found an arrow and he spun it to decide who would read each page. It landed on him every time and he would say no, no, no, one more spin. As the weeks go by his protests get bigger and his procrastination longer. He sees that his friends are getting it, that they are moving on but he isn't. My heart hurts for him as we work through the book, I know how he feels...incapable, overwhelmed, embarrassed and frustrated.

And once again as I teach my students I see myself. I am this student struggling, protesting, overwhelmed and inadequate. I am Moses at the burning bush saying "Who am I that I should go?". I protest and I shut down convinced of my own inability. But He does not try to convince me that I can do it or tell me to keep trying. Instead He says "But I will Go With you"...and "I AM WHO I AM". And I realize that I need to stop looking at myself and my own inability and look at the words in the Book, to read and believe the Truth of Who He is, how He sees me, and how He works.

Ordinary Gifts

"No ordinary moments exist....every good and perfect gift comes fomr His very throne room." Ann Voskamp

I've been challenged lately to recognize God's work in the seemingly ordinary days. These are some of the simple gifts from Him today, they might seem like nothing, but as I recognize all that I have and experience comes from Him, these ordinary moments become gifts, and reasons for thanksgiving.

Some of today's gifts...

rain and raincoat

the high pitched giggles of my second grade boys

Chuchai's recently adopted fake laugh

Andrew's enthusiasm about his magic tricks that are as obvious as the sun on a cloudless day

A break from teaching paperwork to stuff cucumbers with raw pork and glass noodles for the soup at lunch

fellowship with the cook as she taught me to flip seriously huge omletes, and made fun of my inablity to make them look pretty.

talking with two fighting boys, until they shake hands and watching them walk away arms over each other's shoulders

conversations with friends about matters of the heart

What ordinary moments have you enjoyed from Him today?

"Earth is crammed with heaven, and every common bush afire with God." - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Home Visits: A Look Behind the Uniforms

If you look at the children in the two pictures above, they don't seem that different. The first picture you see me and my sisters in our Christian school uniforms, and in the second you see my students in their Christian school uniforms. From all appearances, it seems we could have pretty similar backgrounds and home lives, doesn't it? Aside from being a couple decades and continents apart we look about the same.

But there is something we can't see.

While I saw almost nothing tangible inside of our student's homes, no books and no crayons, no chairs and no table, I did see the dual purpose of our school. I saw hope for our students.

Our school's mission is first and foremost is to give student's a Hope and a future by sharing the gospel with them, that they may share the Ultimate Hope we have in Christ Jesus.

But that is not all, our secondary purpose is to break the cycle of poverty and oppression. (At least in the lives of our students.)

When they are all in their uniforms, you don't see the cycle of poverty, they look well off. But when I stepped into their homes, I saw their lack of resources. I met parents who couldn't read their children's birth certificates. I watched as the Thai teacher's checked documents to help parents calculate their own ages.

And it stirred within me Compassion, Passion and Excitement. Compassion for my students when they struggle with reading. After all, this is their third language, and their parent's can't even help them read Thai at home. Passion to free them, with education, to do whatever the Lord calls them to. Excitement that they will have opportunities that their parents could hardly dream of.

Communicating....

Sometimes in Thaiglish....Sometimes Understanding...

Sometimes Misunderstanding...Sometimes Misunderstood

Thaiglish 1. The kids are beginning to insert English words into their conversation and I love this wonderful Thaiglish spoken in my classroom. As I explain something and then attempt to re-explain to puzzled faces, I hear, "I saap leow", meaning "I know already." Hey, they're getting I!

Thaiglish 2. One family is on their motorcycle, the father, with his daughter in front and two sons on back, the oldest wearing his sister's pink backpack. Chuchai calls out from the middle of the pile, "See you tomorrow." Viirawit, sitting behind his father on a motorcycle in a full length raincoat, so as to avoided getting any tanner, calls back to his classmate, "See you tomorrow duay [too]." They're speaking Thaiglish to each other!

Understanding 1. I was singing Jesus Loves me, while my students were coloring and switched from English to Spanish...it seemed a little closer to Thai...Chuchai leans over and asks his friend in Thai "What language is the teacher singing in?" Viirawit replies in Thai "I think she's singing in ghost language." I laughed, they looked embarrassed, surprised I had understood and then started laughing too. I probably sounded scary enough to be a ghost. : )

Misunderstanding 1. "Chuchai, what are you doing? Please stop dancing." "No, I B-boy" - Chuchai. Me - "B-boy? What's a B-boy?" Chuchai continues dancing "you know B-boy, Hiiip Hop." I continue asking questions entertained by his attempts at dancing but not really understanding what a B-boy is. So I google B-boy....Break dance boy...ah ha...so this explains the sliding, spinning, jumping, and throwing oneself to the ground...clearly he's break dancing! And evidently I am not up on pop culture.

Misunderstood 1. My roommates and I were helping a friend with an English program at a government school nearby. At the school we met another foreigner from Europe. He had come for a few months, mostly just to see Thailand and had been teaching at this school. As he asked us questions about what we were doing, his understanding became clouded. The conversation went something like this: "What brought you here?", "well we feel like God led us here to tell our children about Him", "when are you leaving?", "we aren't really sure", "Don't you ever feel homesick?" "Yes." "What are you doing at the school?".....ect....and the final question... "So are you guys like modern day nuns?"

Hope this gives you just a little picture of the joys of my recent days as a Sister.